What a whirlwind of a weekend! We had lots of stuff to do before Mom heads back for another cycle of chemo on Tuesday. Saturday was by far the most exhausting day (for me anyway). Mom and I shopped until I almost literally dropped! (She was still going strong when I took her home. But, I was spent.) Saturday was even more tiring than today, and today I cross country skied, hiked with the dogs, did some housecleaning, shopped with Conrad, took him to Monkey Joes, and went out to dinner. This should tell you how well Mom is doing, because I am not a lightweight by any means.
Perhaps the most insightful moment of the weekend came when I picked Mom up on Saturday. Now that she doesn't have any hair, she needed someone to measure her head so that she can order head wraps out of a catalog she has. Naturally, I volunteered. This is what I learned.
1. Anticipation in life is almost always either better or worse than the actual event.
Remember when you were a kid at Christmas time? The anticipation of opening your presents was always more thrilling than the actual opening of presents. Likewise, when you see your mom for the first time without any hair, the anticipation is worse than reality. I don't know exactly what I was afraid of. I don't think it is a bald head, because I have seen plenty of those. I don't think it was the reality of the illness, because I have already come to terms with that. I think I was afraid of somehow my mom changing. But, in reality she hasn't changed at all. She just doesn't have any hair right now. And, she has a very nice shaped head!
2. Laughter really is the best medicine, because it allows us to move forward.
Measuring my mom's head was actually kind of funny. We learned that her head is a "small" size. So, then we decided to measure my head, just for fun. My head is "average". Then, because Lucy (the dog) wasn't keen on having her head measured, we called Dad and measured his head. Luckily Dad has been comfortable being bald for many years, because he would not be able to order anything out of Mom's catalog. His head is so large that it is off the charts! After we took care of all of our head measuring business, it was time to move forward and start the real business of the day -- shopping!
3. The sooner you can accept your new reality, the better.
Change is difficult for most people. We all have our comfort zone and the moment we are removed from that zone, things feel bad. We do not always have a choice as to whether or not we can stay in our comfort zone. But, we always have a choice in how we deal with the change. Mom did not choose cancer. And, she did not choose to lose her hair. But, she does have a choice in how she lives with the change that has been imposed on her. If you have been in her presence since the diagnosis, you can feel the strength and the sense of priority surrounding her. She is choosing to live to the greatest extent of the word. And, we are all benefiting from her decision.
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