Tomorrow is Mom’s last day of scheduled radiation. I was thinking that it would be a relief. But, Mom brought up a good point today. She is a little nervous because she won’t be seeing a medical professional for three to four weeks. Again, it is something new, and new things are always a little unnerving. In addition, her dietician had said that the third week after her radiation ends may be the most difficult. That is certainly a scary thought. But, I just remember what Mom and I decided after our first meeting with her medical team. (We were preparing ourselves for the worst possible diagnosis.) After we heard there was hope, we hugged and told each other, “If we can do this, we can do anything!” I only wish that I could give Mom some comfort and relieve her symptoms.

Mom told me today that when she goes in for her appointment tomorrow, she is going to request that they give her fluids. She has been feeling like her vitals may be low in the morning and wants to prevent any dehydration from setting in. And, she is going to ask that they schedule an appointment to see her in two weeks, just as a precaution.

All in all, today was a good day. Mom went to yoga class where she got to visit with her friends from the Senior Center. Then she went to book club in the afternoon. Isn't that what I wished for just a few days ago in a post? Someone must have been listening.

It has been a few days since I wrote last because things got really busy for me the last few days. But, I am happy to tell you that Mom is doing well. She was able to get some extra rest over the weekend because she didn't have any appointments since Thursday. Tuesday she goes in for her last scheduled radiation therapy.


As you know, things have been tough these past few weeks. The radiation is causing Mom to gag up the cells that are sloughing off. And, it is taking her a long time to get food down. But, Mom is putting everything she has into healing herself by resting, drinking, and eating every two hours or so.


Today was a good day because Mom and Alicia took in a movie. Those two used to do that just about every Sunday. I am sure it felt good for Mom to get out of the house for a reason other than treatment. Alicia said they had a very nice time.


Pictured below are a couple more wonderful gifts from two very special friends.

The first is a birthday present from Mom's friend, Michelle Nielsen. Michelle brought my mom this bag from her trip to the Holy Land!  She also gave Mom two cards, one from her, and one from Mom's favorite pooch, Lucy.


The second is another "just because" gift from another very good friend, Pam Mosher. The angel figurine and the inspirational card really lifted Mom's spirits. She had such joy in her voice when she first told me about this gift.

Once again, thank you to everyone for all of the ways you are supporting Mom. We are amazed every day by your thoughtfulness.

Today was a major milestone—Mom's last day of scheduled chemo! She still has two more days of radiation (Thursday and Tuesday). And then she has a break of three to four weeks. 

When I first learned of Mom's cancer diagnosis, I started reading everything I could. The first book I read talked a lot about what to do during recovery from treatment. At the time, the prospect of recovery seemed so distant. It didn't even seem real. Every time I read something in regards to recovery, I made a wish that someday Mom would be heading down that path.

Today I am so incredibly thankful that, in the very least, she is going to have a break from the chemo, radiation and doctor visits. I hope that her esophagus starts healing so that she will be able to swallow food without pain. I hope that her senses return to somewhat of a normal state so that every smell doesn't illicit a gag. I hope that she regains her natural spirit and energy so that she can do the things she enjoys most. The best day will be the one where she tells me she went to yoga, book club, and met Pat for coffee. I can't imagine anything better.

Mom and Dad arrived at Freodert at 6:00 this morning for blood work. Her white cell and platelet counts were normal. But, her vitals were poor. It was soon determined that Mom was dehydrated so they hooked her up with some fluids. Mom got very discouraged, thinking that they were not going to be able to proceed with treatment. Then, her nurse said something that made a profound impact. It was a very simple statement that we have all heard before. But today it took on a whole new meaning for Mom.

She said, "Don't worry. You will get your treatments today. This is just a little bump in the road." And, she was right. In fact, because they started the fluids immediately, Mom actually was finished with her marathon chemo by 3:15 and whisked off to radiation. By 3:30 she was on her way home.

When I saw mom after work, I was surprised at how well rested she looked. The past few days she has been very drained. And, the first day of chemo is always tough. Today she seemed much more energetic and was so happy to have been able to eat a turkey sandwich at lunch. (The only thing she has been able to get down lately are shakes. So, eating the sandwich was a major victory!)

I expect that Mom is going to have some challenges this week. But, she has some wonderful things to look forward to. First, Friday and Monday the radiation department is closed. So, after Thursday, Mom will have four days of rest from treatment. Second, her last day of scheduled radiation is Tuesday. Then she will have at least three weeks to rest before reporting back for more tests. Finally—and this is a big one—her new bluebird house may have tenants! They may not be blue, but they are definitely birds. Hey, you can't have everything, right?

Tomorrow the doctors will check Mom's white blood cell count. If it is where it needs to be, Mom will begin the fourth round of chemo right away. In addition, Mom will still be receiving radiation every day this week. Not only  is the first week of chemo extremely draining, but Mom has really been feeling the effects of the radiation for about a week now. It is going to be tough. But, Mom is ready. Every day she fights the fight. She has amazing strength. I only wish that I could take over for a while. I would give anything to be able to give her some relief. But, I can't. So, I write. And, I make potato soup. And, I love her. I love you so much, Mom.

As promised, below is a picture of the lavender prayer shawl that Carolina Aiello knitted. It is so soft and warm. And, the color is absolutely gorgeous.

Mom wants to make sure that I am posting photos of all of the wonderful support treasures that loved ones are sending her way. The cards, flowers, food, and FROGs are constant reminders that Mom is not alone. But, it isn't just the gifts that she appreciates. She tells me about every kind gesture including your kind supportive words, visits, and offers of assistance. Thank you all!

Last week, Pat Mangi brought Mom a beautiful flowering plant. Pam Moser gave Mom her newest FROG (Fully Relying On God). This week Pat Notarianni stopped out for a visit. Pat brought Mom some comfort food (homemade pastini), a beautiful prayer shawl that her friend Carolina Aiello made and had blessed by a priest, and and inspirational story for Mom to read — "The Life of St. Faustina". Below are pictures of the flowers, FROG, and FROG story. I haven't gotten a picture of the shawl, yet. But, I will post that soon! Don't hold your breath on seeing a photo of the priest, though. You'll just have to take my word on that one.

Things are tough. The next two weeks are probably going to be the most difficult, yet. Mom isn't experiencing any unusual symptoms, but the expected symptoms have arrived. Her appetite is very sluggish, but her sense of smell is overactive. Every smell is heightened. Some of the most common smells, like the yeast in bread, Mom finds revolting.

Probably the worst symptom is what Mom refers to as "coughing up a hairball." Of course, Mom isn't really coughing up fur, but she is spitting up mucous as a result of the bad cells sloughing off. I haven't actually witnessed one of these episodes. But, Mom says that it sounds horrible and feels just as bad. Dad is being a great support to her and Mom has told me several times in the past few days what a wonderful man he is. Mom's greatest fear is that she will have one of the "hairball episodes" in public. Even if she makes it to a restroom, she is afraid of scaring someone with her gagging. Even now, in the midst of the greatest challenge of her life, Mom is concerned about others.

Today Mom's dietitian told her that she is not the least bit concerned about Mom because she is the best patient ever. She said that Mom's outlook is unbelievably positive and that is what is most important right now. She has seen many patients simply give up when they reach this stage of treatment. But, lucky for us, that isn't an option for Mom. She told me today, "Give up? I don't think so. I haven't been going through this for three months to give up. No way."

I am so incredibly proud of my Mom. I love her more than I could ever express in words. Please keep her strong in your thoughts and prayers.

Just when I don't know what to write, something always seems to come through. Today I looked on Facebook and saw these two recent posts by my daughter, Alicia. She sure loves her "Mimi".

I am not sure when you will see this.... I still plan on teaching you facebook someday Mims.
I ♥ you Mimi... and everyone has always loved you, you just didn't recieve as many awesome presents before! You have always been my rock.. you have always been the glue for the family. You are the reason we celebrate birthdays, you are the reason Santa Mouse comes every year, you are the reason I have such great style! (mostly because I steal your scarves) But you are much more than those things, you are our MIMI and we are YOUR rock too. That will never change. xo
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MIMI

If you looked up selfless in the dictionary there should be a picture of my grandma... through everything she is going through, she worries about me, asks about me, talks me down from the ledge, keeps my secrets, lets me vent, never judges.. she inspires everyone she meets. because she refuses to lose. but even her treatment is for us... she may say differently, but she is doing this because we would be lost with out her. she is fighting because she knows there is more for her to give the world. I am not kidding.. She taught at Bradford.. and there has never been a person whose met her that doesn't adore her. Happy Birthday MIMS! this doesn't even do her justice^^ ♥

 

70 years ago today a most amazing person was born. Marguerite Edith Seiler. My mom. I cannot tell you how thankful I am this very day to be able to tell my mom, "Happy Birthday. I love you."

Unfortunately, Mom's birthday was not one of the better days in the past few weeks. She is now feeling the irritation in her esophagus from the radiation treatments. Also, her white blood counts are still low, so they are going to wait another week before beginning the next round of chemo. While I certainly wish that Mom was feeling better, this really isn't horrible or unexpected news. First of all, the irritation is because the bad cells in the esophagus are being damaged beyond repair. That is what we want. (Some healthy cells are also being damaged, but they will be able to repair themselves.) And, her low white blood cell count is not unusual. Two different professionals told her today that her bone marrow is exhausted from the treatments. It needs some time to recover. So, holding off on the chemo is a good thing. They will, however, continue with the radiation treatments every day this week.

Mom told me today that we just need to keep wishing, praying, and thinking positive thoughts. I wouldn't think of doing otherwise. And, I know that all of you are right there with us.

 

This weekend I dogsat Lucy (my parent's dog) while Mom and Dad went to visit Craig and his family. And I had this brilliant idea (or so I thought). I would take Lucy to the groomer and surprise Mom with a clean and neatly trimmed pooch for her birthday! I thought it was a fabulous birthday gift. Lucy has never been to a professional groomer and Mom has sometimes shown curiosity in the possibility.

The grooming appointment was today and things went smoothly. Lucy received a good behavior report and looked and smelled wonderful when I picked her up. But, when I dropped Lucy off at my parents, Kevin wasn't convinced that Mom would be as thrilled as I was. Then it hit me. What if she hated it? What if Dad hated it? What have I done! I went behind their backs, transferred vaccination records so that Lucy could go to the groomer, and had their little dog completely transformed. For three hours I worried that I may have made a huge mistake.

Then I got the call. It was Mom. "She is so cute! She is so cute!!" Mom repeated that phrase probably ten times. I could hear the excitement in her voice and was pretty sure that she was happy with her gift. She said that Dad is okay with it, too.

So, what is the moral of the story? I don't exactly know. Maybe it is that sometimes you need to take a risk. Maybe it is that sometimes you win some, sometimes you lose some. This time I won one. (Whew!) And, Mom has a cute and clean puppy to snuggle with during this week of chemo.

Today Mom went in for her daily zap and to get some blood work done. They always do blood work the week before chemo begins to check her counts. Mom's white blood cell count is a little low. So, Dr. Ritch wants to wait on the next round of chemo until the little buggers can catch up. (Did you know that "bugger" is a really naughty word in England? It isn't here though, so I am going to use it!) They are going to take another blood sample on Monday and, if all looks good, she will begin her fourth round of chemo on Wednesday. Mom is actually a little relieved that she won't be starting chemo right away on Monday. This weekend her and Dad are going to Minneapolis to visit Craig and his family. She was worried about jumping right into chemo after the long trip. Now, she will be able to rest for a couple of days.

I have three new FROGs (fully relying on God) to tell you about tonight. Mom's unique support group seems to grow daily! Ruth and Jim, Mom's friends from the Senior Center, started this effort. And now, many other people are giving her little green friends, too. Even people that she has never met, yet! Mom just loves these special gifts from the heart and is very excited to show me each new FROG that she receives.

The first FROG below is named Bailey. He is very special because he comes from an exceptionally kind woman who has only known Mom through their mutual friend, Ruth. If everyone in this world had a heart like Nancy, no one would ever feel sad or alone.

 

This next FROG is from Ruth and Jim. This FROG is actually a watering can! Isn't he beautiful? His name is Moses. Moses told Mom, "I will help lead you through the wilderness of your journey. Be safe and protected, continuing to pray without ceasing."

 

Every one of Mom's FROGs has a very special story. The one below is no exception. "Yoga Frog" is a gift from Sheila. Sheila and Mom take yoga and aerobic classes together at the Senior Center. Sheila and Mom are alike in another way, too. Sheila is also currently receiving radiation treatments. Mom speaks so very highly of Sheila and even considers their friendship to be one of the miracles that this journey has introduced to her life. We are all sending healing thoughts and prayers your way, Sheila. 

Who gains weight after receiving three full cycles of chemo and daily blasts of radiation on her esophagus? MY MOM DOES!!! Mom's dietitian told her today that she wants to get a poster made of my mom, because she is the poster patient for not only maintaining but actually putting weight on during chemotherapy. The dietitian also told her that she does not at all look like she is undergoing treatment for cancer. It is true. Mom looks wonderful and takes very good care of herself.

Tomorrow Mom has to get more blood work done, gets another zap of radiation, and meets with Dr. Ritch, her oncologist. Next week Mom is scheduled for one more round of chemo. I am thinking this is going to be a tough one because she might start feeling some pain from the radiation. The really sucky thing (pardon my French) is that Mom's 70th birthday is on Monday -- the day that she has to do the marathon eight hour chemo treatment. Not exactly a party environment. But, hopefully soon we'll all be ready to have a little celebration.

Last week Mom was soooo surprised when she received a very special gift from her niece Nina who lives in California. Nina knitted her the softest warm hat that I have ever felt. And, she chose Green Bay Packer colors! She also sent Mom the most beautiful scarf that is dancing with vibrant color. If there is one person that wears color well, it is my mom. Thank you so very much, Nina!

Below is a picture of Mom wearing the scarf, and Conrad wearing the hat. Don't they look fabulous?!

Today we spent a traditional Easter day with Mom and Dad. First an egg hunt, then a basket hunt, egg coloring, dinner, a walk, naps, kickball, and chocolate cake. At one point during the day, Mom read her journal entry from last Easter. It turns out that Easter 2011 was remarkably similar to Easter 2012. The most profound difference was that Dad ate two green salads, including the broccoli. And, Mom ate meat and potatoes. (When exactly did they pull this switcheroo?)


After Mom was diagnosed with cancer, I knew that life would never be the same. But, I didn't realize the ways in which things would remain. Our circumstances may be different. But, the love remains.


Happy Easter, Everyone.

Today I took the day off from work and Mom, Conrad, and I went to the Milwaukee Zoo after Mom's radiation therapy. We had a fantastic time! It was one of those days where everything goes right. The sky was blue. The air was cool but calm. There weren't any crowds. And, we took our time and didn't worry about a schedule. It couldn't have been any better!

The picture below shows Mom and Conrad on the train. The ride was especially fun because Mom and Conrad had a great time finding the large plastic Easter Eggs that the zoo had put out.

Tonight, I have three more FROGs (Fully Relying On God) and a wonderful, warm comfy blanket to tell you about. All of these gifts are from Ruth, who is a very steadfast supporter of Mom. Her and Mom are planning on doing a cancer survivor walk together in August or September. (I am hoping they will let me tag along.)

The first thing you may notice in the picture (besides the beautiful smile on my mom's face) is the comfy, blanket draped over the back of the chair. Ruth gave this to Mom to keep her warm during her treatments and to snuggle with on the couch. You would not believe how soft this blanket is! And, doesn't it make Mom's cheeks look nice and rosy?

Rather than telling you about these FROGs myself, I am going to write the notes that Ruth sent with each FROG.

1. The green FROG on the left is Issac. Issac says, "Hi! My name is Issac. I bring you Easter blessings. We serve a risen Lord and the cross is empty!"

2. The green FROG basket full of the yummy treats is Elijah. Elijah wrote, "Hi! My name is Elijah. I bring you a basket filled with all kinds of goodies. Hope you like and enjoy everything I selected just for you with LOVE!" Don't worry, Elijah. Mom will certainly enjoy all the goodies!

3. The blue FROG is Amanda's favorite. Her name is Jasmine. Jasmine says, "Hi! My name is Jasmine. You can call me "Jazz" for short. I'm happy to become the new member of your F(fully) R(relying) O(on) G(God) family." We are happy to have you, Jazz!

Thank you so very much, Ruth. You have no idea how much your support means to Mom. And, to me. :)

I finally downloaded some pictures from my mom's camera. So, now I have a few more FROGs (Fully Relying On God) to tell you about. One of them being another little miracle

All of the FROGs pictured below are from Mom's good friend, Pat Mangi. She has been a great support to Mom, not just during the past few months, but for many years. They started teaching together back when Mom was at Lance Junior High. (I like to tease Mom sometimes because three of her best friends are named Pat. And, they are all Spanish teachers, like Mom. So, there is Pat, Pat, Pat, and Marguerite. I have no idea how Mom made it into the club.)

See that fuzzy little green guy below with the big bunny ears? His name is Peter. I just love him because he is all eyes and oh, so soft! Also, in the picture is a beautiful glass FROG from Puerto Rico. I am going to try to get a better picture of this little lady, because she is so pretty — a shiny swirl of color. The third FROG may not be very glamorous, but he is extremely important. As the story goes, Pat had been thinking about Mom and the FROGs. In fact, she had purchased the other two gifts and was planning on stopping out to visit Mom. Pat went to the grocery store, and when she looked into her cart, this little plastic ring with big googley frog eyes and a huge smile was peering up at her! Isn't that amazing?

Mom received the best surprise ever on Friday! Komsu, a former student of Mom's from her Carthage College teaching days, flew in for a visit. Around 3:00 in the afternoon, Komsu and his girlfriend Holly, were knocking on her door. And, boy, was she ever surprised! Mom said that they had the most wonderful visit. And, for the record, Mom thinks that Komsu has found quite a gem in Holly.

I should tell you a little about this special visitor. When my mom was a teacher at Carthage, she made an extra effort to help students from different countries. One of the most generous things that she did was open up our home to them. Not only did these students have a place to stay during the holidays when the dorms closed, but they also had a family nearby. I was a teenager during those years and I remember how cool it was to have college students from different parts of the world stay with us.

Komsu and Gonzalo were sort of a package deal. Although they were from different parts of the globe, Komsu from Tanzania and Gonzalo from Panama, the two quickly became bosom buddies as they were college dorm mates. Gonzalo, who was already part of our family because he is my Mom's brother's nephew, told mom that his roommate needed some help. Apparently, Komsu didn't know about the college cafeteria, because he was eating the apples off of the trees! (Sorry, Komsu. But, you have to admit that it is very funny. Just consider it pay-back for tricking a young girl into believing that you used to ride an elephant to school.) Today, Komsu is a very successful cardiologist in Connecticut. And, although I didn't ask him, it is very likely that he is getting his fruits and vegetables from the produce aisle at the grocery store these days.

Since Komsu's visit, Gonzalo has tried to call Mom a couple of times. He was excited to hear about Komsu's visit and wanted to know how things went. Very busy with a career and family of his own in Panama, Gonzalo wasn't able to make this reunion. But, Mom is really looking forward to a phone visit with him. And, she is still flying high from her surprise visitor. (Komsu, you have no idea how happy you made Mom. Thank you so very much!)